“I will take the Ring,” he said, “though I do not know the way.”
Frodo Baggins, The Fellowship of the Ring
When Frodo stood forth at the Council of Elrond and presented himself as the ring bearer for a quest which seemed certain to fail, he obeyed a sense of calling far deeper than logic. But while the decision was clear to him, he still did not “know the way.” He needed the fellowship of some motley (yet incredibly loyal) friends who were dedicated to the same mission and would aid him in his quest.
Frodo’s experience—with all its tension, resolution, ignorance, and naïveté—is remarkably similar to the predicament of many parents who send their children to a classical Christian school. After becoming convinced that you wanted your child to receive a classical Christian education, you may have enrolled without knowing much detail about the path that he or she would walk.
And while it is tempting to think that you need to immediately understand the school’s underlying values, principles, and methods (followed by the philosophical moorings of classical theory and its practical applications), what you need first of all is fellowship: Sams, Gandolfs, Aragorns, Merrys, Pippins, and Gimlis to aid and support you along the way.
Keep Hold of the Ring
In a culture that promotes a fear of missing out (FOMO) and a fear of a better option (FOBO), well-meaning parents face enormous pressures and temptations when choosing the best educational option for their children. Economic concerns, educational scruples, athletic possibilities, scholarship prospects, social needs, safety convictions, and ministerial aims all clamor to be taken into account. If and when you do make the decision to “take the Ring” and send your child to a classical school, the choices begin again.
Internally, it can be difficult for parents to understand the school’s methods, philosophy of grading, emphasis on virtue and moral formation, tuition rate, and more. Externally, conflict arises in the form of loneliness (“All my friends’ kids go to school elsewhere”), financial limitations (“I’m already paying taxes for public school”), religious convictions (“I want my kids to be salt and light in the world”), utilitarianism (“My child deserves an education that will result in scholarships, a good college, and a well-paying career”), and narcissism (“I want whatever form of education makes my child happy”). The challenges seem akin to traversing Middle Earth past screeching Ringwraiths, carnivorous orcs, and Sauron’s piercing vision.
The good news is that when you pursue a loyal and loving fellowship, you can more easily spot and defeat the ideological trolls that threaten your child’s transformation and future. Even though Frodo was committed to the Ring’s destruction, he could not do it alone: The impossible was rendered possible only by an intimate fellowship, a resilient loyalty, and a lifegiving camaraderie.
Protect the Halflings
In Middle Earth, halflings are among the most vulnerable creatures. So are our students, in an increasingly atheistic and hostile culture. Today, students confront trolls and goblins on a daily basis in the disguised form of smart phones, consoles, and social media feeds, filling their minds with a love for the shallow, ugly, and drab and inculcating a fragmented self-identity and ideology. How can parents have the courage to wield an elvish “Sting” and keep these distractions at bay? You must be willing to say “No” a lot and patiently answer the “Why?” You must demonstrate fierce loyalty to the timeless educational methods that nourish the soul and develop life-giving habits, even when the child finds them painstakingly difficult. You must create a rhythm of leisure and contemplation in the family schedule where real learning can take place rather than cramming the all available space and time with extras.
Inevitably, ring bearers will say to themselves, “I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.” It’s at this point that we need a Gandalf in our life to remind us what is best for our children.
Endure Obstacles
New parents are often taken aback by the realization that the education that they’ve committed themselves to—the one that sounded so good in the admissions presentation—is hard. G.K. Chesterton got it right in “What’s Wrong with the World” when he said that “education is violent.” But because being classical requires the cultivation of virtue, and discipleship necessitates spiritual formation, the elements of education that parents perceive as the most difficult are, in fact, opportunities to exercise faith, put on hope, and believe that the Lord’s discipline is a good thing. We can’t forget that education is about inculcating values in our children more than transferring knowledge.
Establishing meaningful friendships within classical circles goes a long way toward enduring the obstacles along our trek. When reading Lord of the Rings, I lost count of how many times Frodo gave into the ring’s influence when experiencing extreme darkness and peril; without Sam and others, Frodo would have become a wraith. In their friendship and loyalty, we see the power of community—even a very small one—to endure suffering that one person alone couldn’t handle.
Find Your Fellowship
Are you a new parent this year? Look for someone who has been at the school longer than you have who can help you along your way. Are you a seasoned parent with experience to offer? Look for a new parent to take under your wing. But no matter how long you’ve been at your school, don’t forget that you can’t do it alone and that you need a fellowship. As Bilbo said, “It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.”
How Can You Find Fellowship?
1) Ask your school’s parent organization if they have any book groups or events designed for fellowship. If not, start a reading group to discuss books about classical Christian education and ask your school to publicize it in the weekly newsletter. Good books to start with include An Introduction to Classical Education: A Guide for Parents by Dr. Christopher Perrin (easy), The Case for Classical Christian Education by Douglas Wilson (moderate), and The Liberal Arts Tradition by Kevin Clark and Ravi Jain (more complex, but worth your time!).
2) Start (or find) a reading group to discuss books that your students read in school. You don’t need to start with the hardest books—adults can have a great conversation about The Voyage of the Dawn Treader or Johnny Tremain.
3) Open your home for coffee and conversation after drop-off.
4) Attend school functions and field trips looking for opportunities to connect with other parents.
5) Look for opportunities to volunteer alongside other parents.
6) Connect with classical parents and resources outside your school. There are so many parents around the nation (and the world) who are doing what you’re doing! You can find ACCS resources for parents at classicalchristian.org/resources, and there are a number of other organizations such as the CiRCE Institute (circeinstitute.org), BaseCamp Live (basecamplive.com) and Classical Academic Press (classicalacademicpress.com) which offer conferences, classes, podcasts and more for parents.
DR. PRESTON ATWOOD
is Head of School at Westminster
Academy (Memphis, TN) and editor of
Cantate Domino: A Liturgical Songbook
for Classical Christian Schools.
